Script for a test audio guide:
Sometimes it’s really hard to just do that essay or that assignment whilst having no idea what’s happening in the lives of your Facebook friends. If only there was some way to look like you’re working while actually reading about how much someone loves cats. Well now there is.
It may not be against the library rules to go on Facebook, but what would people think if they saw you doing it? Everyone else there is hard at work on their education, using all the resources of the library, to forward human knowledge. But then they see you, on Facebook, watching a video your friend has posted, of a fat person falling over. How do you think they would feel, seeing a valuable space in the library, wasted like that? That’s why they can never know. Let’s go find a computer shall we?
Now just log in. Good. No-one knows what you’re about to do, there’s no need to panic. Ok. Good. Now just open up Google Chrome. Or, if you’re a beginner, you can even use Internet Explorer.
Now, the first thing you open, needs to look clever. Why not find an article on ‘War and Peace’? Or the biography of an Italian painter? Anything that’s long and complicated will do. Have a look.
Very Good. This is what’s called, the decoy. But now it’s time, to open, Facebook. You have to be very careful while logging in, in case someone sees. You can try making the window smaller, to make it harder for people to see. Or you can stand up slightly to block the screen with your body. Or you can simply just turn the screen away slightly to make sure no-one sees. That’s it. Now log in as quickly as you can. When you’re done, switch to the decoy.
Well done. You’re in the clear. It’s easy now to switch back and forth between Facebook and the decoy. It’s going to be smooth sailing from here on out. But, if someone does catch you, make sure you have some excuses prepared. For example, “I’m doing a Psychology study on social media” or “I design websites and I was looking for inspiration”, or “This is the most suitable and reliable method in which my study group can liaise. What are you trying to do? Destroy my opportunities for employment after graduation?” Your excuse, should be personal to you. Why not have a go?
Excuse me, I was just browsing research documents whilst studying for my PHD, when I happened to notice that you were merely browsing Facebook. Can you explain your actions?
Very well, I suppose that is an acceptable explanation. I am sorry to have bothered you.
Excellent, you’re now an expert at hiding your internet activities. You’re a star.
Josh Curran